We're Doomed: Love in the time of Doom

Let's pretend, optimistically, that political campaigns were sometimes about innovative, creative, edgy solutions to 21st century catastrophes. Let's imagine a place where the two major parties in the US nominated candidates who could articulate solutions to global, national, and local inequity. Global Warming. Harambe shootings. Poverty. Homelessness. Veterans with mental health illnesses. The rap music. Etc.

Since I can't even finish a paragraph about serious issues without my head starting to hurt about what Trump actually talks about, I'm going to write a short series of counter ideas to things he talks about:

Idea 1:
Trump says that Hillary Clinton's security should have their guns taken away. He also says that gun rights advocates could/should deal with Hillary Clinton. So, ok: let's put those two ideas into practice. In return, Trump has to jump into alligator infested waters near any of this properties in Florida. This seems like a fair quid pro quo to me.
http://www.npr.org/2016/09/16/494328717/trumps-second-amendment-rhetoric-again-veers-into-threatening-territory 

Idea 2:
While running against HRC, a woman who has lived her entire life in heavily scrutinized public services, Trump has psudeo-doctors reveal his medical information on a psuedo-doctor reality TV show (Dr. Oz). He tells us repeatedly that HRC is sick, and demands to see her health records. At the same time, he refuses to oblige poltical convention and release his tax returns because, as his son says "Why would we do that? Then people would just ask questions about it?". Yes they would Donald Jr., yes they would.

So, instead of releasing his tax returns, Donald has to match every dollar spent by his campaign, by the RNC, and by the Super Political Action Committees supporting him to the charity of the internet's choice (once again, I assume this will end in a giant Harambe memorial). But maybe it finds a Zika vaccine, or infrastructure in impoverished nations. Or deals with the sickening poverty found all over the USA. Who knows.

More ideas some other time.